Yogajyotii's Thoughts

Recognition, acceptance of the responsibility, is of primary importance if we are tired of dealing with Desires and seek a way out from under their control and manipulation of our thinking and behavior. Now that that step is taken we are in prime position to Slay that Slayer. And I gladly offer the Sword of Truth to Help you BE the Monster-Slayer that you ARE.

A primary first step is admitting that there is a problem and that we are the problem. But the Key is quite simple -- STOP ! That is, stop Desiring. What is worthy of Desiring ? A new car, new clothes, fine food, expensive furniture, money, a beautiful or handsome person to spend time with, a mansion in Beverly Hills, an penthouse at Buckingham Palace ? 'Things' to enjoy for as long as we can, for sure. But Desire ? You see, Desire requires a presumption. A presumption of some future event. That is to say that Desire is not in the Moment, but rather in the past. For the past requires a future -- dwelling in the past from this very Moment is a statement that this moment is the future of the past. So as we Desire something in this present Moment, we are placing a future event when that Desire will be satisfied. So the Key would be dwelling in the Moment for there is no Desire when we dwell in the Moment -- there is no past and no future so there can be no Desire. Letting go of, or discarding our conditioned notions and dwelling in the Moment establishes us in a state of Desirelessness. Further, letting go of our conditioned notions establishes us in the Moment. Mathematically: - conditioned notions = in the Moment = Desirelessness. Mathematically: + conditioned notions = in the past and in the future = Desire. And one does not have to be a rocket scientist to calculate this math.

We can readily Observe the Open Honest Innocence in their actions and Realize that perhaps this is what Jesus meant when he said that we "must be as little children" -- an Open Honest Innocence, in Love with life and everything in it and about it. We fear this, for it is a Spark of Divinity that we the Sleeping world does not emanate. So we destroy it by defiling the new born babe Guru by brainwashing it to our liking. When we have made of it the automatonic machines that we are, we no longer fear them. We are conditioned to fear that which we do not know or understand. It is the fear that we might be infected by this new born babe Guru and "be as little children" -- now what would the Grand Trickster think of this ? Major punishment for sure.

I primarily address the unconscious suffering, for that is the suffering that is due to our conditioned notions, that we refuse to admit or acknowledge. Conscious suffering is when we know that we are suffering but can find no solution to our problems. Solving our problems is all about giving up trying to solve our problems. When we Truly Openly Honestly Observe ourselves, we Realize this to be so. It applies to life in general, in that, when we stop grasping and stop trying to hold onto things and simply BE, with no thoughts of past or future, embracing the Moment that we are IN, we do not need solutions because we do not have problems. When people tell me that they have a problem that they have to solve, I tell them "no, there is no such thing as a problem so there is no such thing as a solution. There is only a situation that is waiting for us to give it a direction. And you can not give it a direction while Sleeping".

Ah....... Desire ! Siddhartha said that Desire was the root Cause of our Suffering. There are naturally many other Causes as well, but Desire is at the very root of our problems. And indeed, we can call it by any other name but anything we name it will boil down to Desire. I would say that he had stumbled across a Truth.

This is True, BUT -- do not think of Desire as though it were an entity in itself, that it has a life of it's own, as though Desire comes knocking at our door and we let it in. Then after we let Desire in, it sort of takes over and starts controlling and manipulating us. But, WE generate Desire. WE give birth to Desire -- it is our Child. And as all of our begotten conditioned notions (children), we tend to it. And are therefore controlled and manipulated by it. A demise or our own device -- WE created the monster and the monster consumes us. Instead of the parent consuming the offspring as we at time find in nature, our offspring consumes us. WE created this monster so WE have to either submit to it or destroy it. A case of mistaken identity here, I would say.

WE forged the Chain and WE assembled the Lock and WE placed the Chain about ourselves and closed the Lock. So WE have to disassemble the Lock and melt the Chain. As stated above, WE created this monster so WE have to either submit to it (Sleep) or destroy it (Wake-Up). It is in letting go of our conditioned notions. It is in Realizing that nothing in this manifested impermanent realm is worth clinging to. For it is temporary -- instant gratification, and nothing more. So there is nothing worth Desiring. Again, Desires are not "there", WE generate them so WE have to stop generating them. It is as simple as that -- if we do not generate them we will not have to deal with them.

Only IN Awakening -- only IN purging yourself of Toxic Conditioned Notions, will we Truly Understand What-IS. And at that very instant Moment we will Truly Understand What-IS-NOT. For it is only in the Understanding of What-IS that we Understand What-IS-NOT. Actually we already understand What-IS-NOT for that is our conditioned perception. Problem is, we are conditioned to *believe* that What-IS-NOT is What-IS, and so our quandary continues -- our Suffering continues. So the Cause of our Suffering is none other than the Grand Trickster the conditioned mind. So our efforts must be in letting go of the Grand Trickster, rather than endeavoring to understand What-IS-NOT or even What-IS.

There is no suffering in dying, there is only suffering in living. There is no pain and suffering to the yet unborn. If it is an unsuitable environment then something will happen to prevent the birth. If it is a suitable environment then nothing will prevent the birth. What ever IS, is What-IS. Some, because of their belief systems, think that others should believe them when they call it murder or execution. But they are fools and those who listen to them are equally fools. For whatever will be, will be -- as whatever IS, IS. In man's arrogance he thinks he has control over this life/death process. He does not. Those who prevent a birth are not acting of their own accord, though they are blamed for it. They are merely in the flow of providence. Not man nor god nor anyone else has control over it, it simply is what must be. There really is no choice by parent nor unborn child nor even god, but rather a matter of the workings of the Wheel of Reincarnation guided by the suitability of Karma. Reincarnation is but a cycle of birth and rebirth, whereas Karma is the guiding force of this cyclic birth and rebirth. So if the suitability of a given birth is far afield of the Karma that must be Balanced then no birth will occur. It is merely What-IS and nothing more. It is man who projects his beliefs and conditioned notions into/onto anything he so desires. As has been said, "Forgive them for they know not what they do". It is the Slayer that must be Slain, for there is no such thing as Death.

What use is this Awakening one may ask. Would you rather be controlled and manipulated by something or a belief, or get a good laugh at something or a belief trying to control and manipulate you ? Actually Awakening is about the ability to see things as they ARE, and being a contributory force in establishing Reality in leu of conditioned Illusions. Reality is a bit more bland than Illusions, but Illusions are the reasons for the wars and greed and hate and killing and crime and control and manipulation and a myriad of other ills. And if we let go of the Illusions we also let go of the wars and greed and hate and killing and crime and control and manipulation and a myriad of other ills.

A question that may arise is 'why we are so prone to conditioning' ? Why are we so prone to attachment to this conditioned Illusion we erroneously call life ? Is there an opiate that acts as a catalyst to impede our Awakening ? Is this opiate the chemicals used in processing and preserving our foods, or the animal products and by products and parts that we consume ? Could it be the garbage we put in our mouth, and inadvertently think it is food ? At least that is what we are *told*, that it is food. Would we have to struggle so much in our Awakening if we were not omnivorous ? Consider it.

Letting go is the most arduous task humanity faces, has ever faced and will ever face. Sleeping, we will give up everything for some cause whether it be noble or foolish but we will always refuse to give up even a slight Cause of our Suffering. It is not that we enjoy suffering, but we will not let go of the conditioned notions that are the Cause of that Suffering. When we Dwell IN the Moment, there is no room or time for anger and/or hostility so we simply let them go their merry way. Praying, meditating, chanting the whole of the Bhagavad Gita prostrated before God himself will not relieve one of the Causes of our Suffering. No one Saves us but ourselves, no one can and no one may, others can Point to the Path, but we ourselves must Walk the Way. For you see, the Causes of our Suffering is our conditioned notions. So it is our conditioned notions that have to be let go of. And there is no *kwik-fix*. There is simply Truly observing our thoughts and behavior and picking out that which offends or blocks our Awakening and pluck it out. Not a simple task, and is a task that we ourselves must do ourselves. Another can Recognize a deficiency, but another can not pluck it out. As painful as some of our conditioned notions are to let go of (pluck out), the pain will be a most Wonderful Relief and reduction of the massive baggage that the Sleeping carry around with them. Observe yourself, your thoughts and behavior, and actions and reactions, and see how they control and manipulate you. And do something about it -- like pluck them out, let them go. Before reacting or responding to anything, consider, and in the considering, observe yourself, and see what should be plucked out. Start with just one simple little conditioned notion -- and one by one, inch by inch, slowly we turn toward Awakening.

To observe is not necessarily to understand, as discernment is not necessarily judgement. Dictionaries are compiled based on common usage and not necessarily True Meaning. We can observe the connectivity of two electrons propelled through space in opposite directions, but that is not to say that this connectivity is understood. As one can Understand the intricate working of the whole of the Cosmos, yet never observe it. So may I offer: observe and understand are not equatable words. And, "the mind or senses" have nothing to do with understanding. Tools perhaps, to gather information to aid our understanding, but is not relative to understanding. For it is not the mind or the senses that understand, it is you that understand -- as the Real You is way beyond the physical realm of mind and senses. So True Discernment is not a matter of mental or sense activity, but rather of True Understanding. When one Truly Understands that which is observed, one can then Truly Discern that which is What-IS and that which ISNOT -- not good or bad, but rather What-IS and What-ISNOT. Sleeping, we tend to lean toward that which ISNOT. Awakening, we tend to lean toward that which IS.

True observation is also a Recognition. The Recognition of that which IS and that which ISNOT. Sleeping, we will react to that which IS and respond to that which ISNOT. Awakening, we will respond to that which IS, Seeing through the Illusion of that which ISNOT. For that which ISNOT is not worthy of our Attention.

Indeed, *intent* is a major factor in anything we do or not do. For where there is intent there is a pre-disposition, a pre-conception, a pre-conditioned notion. And when this intent is not satisfied, then whatever it is that we are seemingly observing will be *judged* as erroneous in some way. THIS I have termed *Sleeping*. For IN Awakening there is no intent, there is no pre-disposition, there is no pre-conception, there is no pre-conditioned notion, there is only What-IS. Though intention can be very well hidden, it does become obvious to a trained eye or in the Works of those with intentions. It has been said: "you can fool some of the people all of the time and you can fool all of the people some of the time, but you can not fool all of the people all of the time". So, Awakening we simply Observe What-IS and What-ISNOT and respond accordingly, with no intent. For as you said, those with intentions act according to their own particular conditioned notion. But they are not connected to anything resembling Truth.

Observation -- the very self-observations that I so often speak of. There is where our Salvation IS. But why we cling to these Causes of our Suffering ? They are our security blankets, though a very false security at best. We are conditioned to *think* that we are secure by these notions, only to find out when put to the test that we fall flat on our face and even establish that which we cling to these notions to secure us from. A rude Reckoning, but a vital one in establishing our Awakening. So if we have progressed enough along The Path in our last incarnation, so we are more inclined toward our Awakening, then we will be responsive to such Reckonings. And that is why there are those who can Point to those Reckonings and tell why there are such Reckonings. For if it were not for those Pointers and those fingers Pointing, we would be as confused with the Reckoning as we are with the false security.

Understanding is the Key to Realization, and so we can only Realize that which we can Understand. If we can only understand that which is not so, then we can never Realize that which is so. So it would behoove us not to equate that which is not so with that which is so, for projecting conditioned notions into/onto any given offering renders it invalid to us. That which IS is not in that which it appears, but rather in the intention behind the seeming appearance. Some times we only need Pointers to guide our Way, but other times we need a Shock or Whack on the head to get our Attention to be focussed on where the finger Points rather than be mislead by staring at the finger. Looking in the direction that the finger points will reveal the intricate Truths of all manifested form, yet staring at the finger too closely will only block our Sight of those Truths. Holding a penny up to the sky at arm's length we see the penny and the wonders of the visible universe, yet holding the penny too close to the eye we only see the penny.

I realize that it seems so unlikely to exist both mentally and physically without thoughts or memories of the past or assumptions about the future, from instant to instant, Moment to Moment. Always IN the present Moment NOW. Yet it is more than likely, it is a dire necessity if we are to Awaken. We can not discard the memories, as we can not discard the thoughts, the Key is who controls who. That is, when thoughts and memories arise at the Moment of the experience of that Moment, they control our thinking and behavior in the Moment. When we embrace the Moment as it is, not having a preconceived notion about that Moment, nothing arising but the experience of the Moment, then we control the retrieval of memories and thoughts to respond skillfully to the Moment. So the difference is that we embrace each Moment anew, with a Silent mind, with no preconceived notions about that Moment. Each Moment as well as ourselves is a blank slate and nothing is written on that slate except the experience of that particular Moment. Then we are guided by the Moment, for we have died to the last Moment. We are conditioned to judge and plan and even predict each Moment. To do that, we must observe the Moment from a perspective of the past, as we need those thoughts and memories to evaluate and manipulate the Moment. Paradoxically, dwelling in the past we have no control of the Moment, we can only judge and plan and react to it, as it controls us. For only when we dwell in the Moment do we have control of it. Not the control of the Moment, but rather control of ourselves IN that Moment. It is said that we are Masters of our Fate, yet we can not Master our Fate if we are always one step behind or one step ahead of that Fate. We can only Master the Fate that we ARE.

Any person can understand these words, and even envision the possibility of dwelling solely in the present, but they need much encouragement and much explanation to actually let go of the past and TRY dwelling in the Moment from Moment to Moment. The sad part is that they fear they are going to lose something if the let go, and by doing so they are actually missing something by not letting go. For obviously the Key to dwelling in the present Moment is letting of the past Moment. Wonder not, for it is in the letting go of the old that we embrace the new as they can not walk hand in hand together. We can not put on a new garment while still wearing the old garment. As we cling to the old we can not meld with the new, there is a vast chasm between them. Fear not to jump across such chasm. Your Awakening beckons you, harken to it's call and Leap to it.

Observations will be different from one person to the next, so we Openly and Honestly Observe our every thought and every action and/or reaction. And if we are Open and Honest with ourselves, and not rationalize what we Observe, we will understand that which controls and manipulates us. THEN we can let it go. Self-Observation is a Self-Inquiry, so YOU must see your defilements not just me and others. Anyone can point out another's defilements but such is not of use UNTIL you Realize these defilements. No one can not Save you, for no one Saves us but ourselves, no one can and no one may, others can Point to the Path, but we ourselves must Walk the Way.

Do not *want*, Do or do not, but never simply want. For you will continue existence on the Wheel of Life and Death until you get off the merry-go-round. Awakening is like this, on a merry go round speeding ever faster so we cling tightly for our safety. For we know that if we let go we will be thrown to the dirt and have to endure much pain. The fact of the matter is, though indeed it is painful to let go, the pain recedes quite quickly and we are Free form the dizziness we experienced on the merry go round. Let go.

It is very True that none are qualified to discern deficiencies in others who have not discerned them in oneself. Only those who have tread that Path, Walked that Journey, Truly observed themselves, can Point out pitfalls that lay before us, for no one else could know. If one has not observed what pitiful wretch one is, a controlled manipulated automaton, wallowing in the pain of self-pity and self-admonition, one could not related the Fires of Hell that Burn there. But when one Truly Openly Honestly looks into the Mirror of Truth and admits to himself that such defilements must be wrenched out regardless of the pain, and wrenches them out, THEN one can understand the Suffering that his Brethren endures. THEN can one understand what it is to wrench out such defilements. THEN can one Help another to do the same. It is a rude Reckoning, but a Reckoning that we all must face if we are to start Awakening.

Responding to the Moment is not removing ourselves from every day life, it is doing what must be done IN the Moment AT the Moment. Going off to a Hermitage or Retreat is the easy way of attaining Freedom, Awakening while still conducting our lives in the every day rat race of society is a test of our metal, and a test whether our Awakening is True.

Stuck ? Fear of becoming blank ? IN the Silence we Hear, IN the Void we See, IN Awakening we ARE. What makes you think that you can know the experience of the next Moment until you Directly Experience it ? You are stuck to your conditioned notions, for the future is no more real than the past. What conditioned notion have you let go of ? Truly Openly Honestly Observe yourself and answer that question to yourself without projecting any conditioned ideas or images or meanings into/onto that Observation. IF you can do THAT, you will have the solution to your dilemma.

And perhaps you will Realize this Freedom. But it takes a certain effort. An effort to rid yourself of the clutter that gets in the way of Aloneness. Get rid of the trees that hide the forrest. It is natural, we are alone. Until we are conditioned to the otherwise, we are perfectly content in our Aloneness. Look at the new born Guru, though it does clamber for attention and nurturing, we can tell by looking into it's eyes that it knows that it is alone and loves every minute of it. It is not attached, not even to the mother until the need of familiarity sets in. We are conditioned to think we need this familiarity, hence when we do not have it we feel lonely. Our thinking is fogged and so we do not realize that we were alone in the first place and that is the state we must get back to. The little Guru is closer to the Divine or Infinite that us conditioned adults, for it just came from there. Observe the little Guru, and ponder your observations. It is in Self-Realization, it is in Self-Actualization, it is in Awakening.

Ah, have you recognized yourself as an Observer. In Observing others we can see our own conditioned thinking and behavior. NOW, Observe the Observer ! For it is in the Observer Observing the Observer Observing that the Observed and the Observer can BE One in the same. And IN that Moment that the Observer IS the Observed we can Realize who we really ARE and who we have been conditioned to become. THEN, since who we ARE and what automatons we have become are so different, we can do something about rectifying the hideous creature we See in the Mirror of Truth. IF we dare.

What-IS, is that the unfolding human machine mind IS conditioned/programmed -- no "possible" about it. AND the computer machine is the very same -- no "possible" about it. The difference is that the computer machine is BEing the automaton that it IS -- on the other hand, the human machine is BEing the automaton that it IS-NOT. We patterned the computer and computer machine on ourselves -- alas, our brain-child is the spitting image of it's father. That is not at question. What is at question is whether dad will eventually Wake-Up and Recognize the difference. To date, few have. For only in this Recognition will we be able to Realize that it is in our cleverness that we are able to construct such automatons for our well being and Freedom to Awaken rather than being an extension of ourselves. They are *aids*, not *offspring* -- but the Grand Trickster has convinced us that *the son is created in the image of the father*, and we buy it hook line and sinker.

I would say that the whole matter of Awakening is an urgency for "why put off 'til tomorrow what you can do t'day". Does desire discard desire ? Does conditioning discard conditioning ? May I offer that they will not *self*-destruct, for we have to annihilate them and it is not an easy task for we are conditioned to *think* that they will self-destruct all by themselves. Mere logic and reasoning will not even start to disarm our conditioned thinking and habitual behavior. The struggle with our conditionings is no less a struggle than depicted in the Bhagavad Gita that Arjuna faced. An all out war of major proportions to overcome desires and attachments of all sorts.

And what might be an "opinion", other than a personalized belief ? Awakening is about letting go of the Chains, not casting aside one set of Chains and affixing another set. Ah, but have you Observed the Observer Observing the Observed AS the Observer Observed. You see, we can not use the same criteria for Observing another as we do Observing ourself. Observing another there is an other, yet in Observing ourself we must Observe ourself AS ourself and not as an other Observing. Self Observation is always useful and helpful in Working on ourself, but when we Observe ourself as the Observer AND the Observed as One the result is an Open Honest Introspection of who we are and who we have become. Dwelling IN that Introspection will reveal the means by which we can go from who we have become back to who we are. It is to "know thyself".

Desires *should* have no value to us for such desires are mere attachments that keep us clinging to matters of the physical realm. For if one is healthy, one would simply BE healthy and mindful of whatever it takes to maintain BEing healthy. No need for a desire or attachment to this healthiness, simply BEing healthy and maintaining this health. Before I continue, thank you for your thoughtful response.

May I offer that the *watchdog* is our body's autonomic system that lets us when it requires some sort of attention to maintain it's health. No desire for healthiness has to be driven into our subconscious because the watchdog is already built into us. It is just one of those gratuities that come with the body. Why try to fix something that is not broken by inducing some desire into it ?

Desire is a Veil to Realizing Truth, so as long as we cling to the desire Truth will always elude us. We can not find what we look for, any more than we can Realize Truth by desiring to do so. Truth can not be possessed any more than it can be found or given, whereas desires are of the physical realm of possessions and findings and givings. The Realization of Truth and Reality IS Awakening to What-IS in the instant present Moment without any projections of our conditioned notions into/onto the experience of that Moment. In order to do that we must work on discarding What-IS-NOT Truth and Reality, which is our conditioned notions and desires.

Your effort IS What-IS. It IS Truth. In fact the course you do is the very course that 99.99% of all Seekers take in their Quest of Unfolding Awakening. But they, as your efforts, overlook or treat it as insignificant the element of conditioned ideas and images and meanings. Consequently very few Truly start Awakening because they do not address this element of conditioning adequately, and it is not stressed by those wonderful Awakened East Indians and Asians in their Mission to Help us Sleeping Westerners. This is not to slight the efforts of these great Sages in the least, it is that they have no way of Realizing what stranglehold that conditioning has on the Sleeping Western World unless they have lived here an extended time. Hence, Westerners tend to *re-condition* themselves to this new *practice* and *think* that they have discarded the necessary conditioned thinking when all they did was substitute one conditioned way of thinking for another.

These great Sages from the East strike out on a Mission IN Compassion to Help the Western Slumbering World. When they get here they are a bit dumbfounded at the lack Openness and Honesty us Westerners are so immersed in, not only outwardly with others but also with themselves. Most set up their organization in the hopes that the sheer dedication to the practice will perhaps help cleanse the toxins from our perception. They are successful in gathering followers, but mostly they leave this physical plane knowingly unsuccessful in their primary Mission of Helping to Awaken the Western World. My statements here apply to the 99.99% as a general statement and not to the .01% who actually DO start Awakening due to the efforts of these practices. I have even seen Wise Teachers IN this Mission leave the organization because they saw that the practice was not accomplishing the Mission.

We can not Truly Openly and Honestly look at ourselves in the Mirror of Truth before discarding conditioned notions about what is Real and what is not. This would only lead to *following* rather than Awakening if we do not discard our conditioned perception as to what we *think* What-IS and Observe with no projected notions into/onto the experience of the Moment. I would only add, that Teachings as well as Teachers are but Pointers to The Path OF Truth that we must Walk that has no Teachings or Teachers. For there is not Teaching nor Teacher nor organization higher than Truth.

Question: how can you *follow* arising thoughts and stay in the Moment ? *Following* those reactive thoughts is what keeps us out of the Moment. The emotions of anger or fear or anything else can be treated the same way that we treat arising thoughts in meditation. That is, we Observe them and let them drift into our Silence, but we give them no energy or attention so we Observe them drift back out of our Silence the way they drifted in. They arise as a distraction, so you must sneakily only watch then with your peripheral vision and act as though you do not even notice them. If they do not capture your attention, if they do not draw energy from you, if you do not follow them, they will fade back into the conditioned mire that they arise from.

Indeed, Waking-Up is in questioning our very state of being and how our conditioned ideas and images and meanings control and manipulate our thinking and behavior. But there is a state beyond questions, and beyond answers. It is a state, after questioning what we thought were answers and finding that those seeming answers were but Illusions, and discarding those Illusions, that we Dwell IN What-IS.

Only one thing can Transform, can Transmute, and that is going beyond the mind, going beyond thinking, and dwelling IN a space where the sky is absolutely without clouds, where there is but Silence. Then no question arises and no answer is needed, for there is only What-IS. When one comes face to face with What-IS Truth and Reality there is but one route open, and that is to BE What-Is Truth and Reality.

People think that Siddhartha, Muhammad, Mahavira, Zarathustra, Lao Tzu, or Jesus, have found the answer. They are wrong. These Sages have lost both the question and the answer. They have found a Silence, undisturbed either by questions or by answers. These Wise Sages had no answers, they could only relate What-IS -- and that is not an answer but rather the Realization of Truth and Reality. This may be Shocking for a world that is always looking for answers to their questions, for they look to these Wise Sages for answers. They are conditioned to think that these Wise Sages have answers or them. It would seem that after thousands of years of getting these seeming answers and the world is getting worse all the time, that perhaps we should re-evaluate what these Wise Sages offer. For they do not give us answers, but rather Pointers so that perhaps we too can Realize What-IS Truth and Reality.

When we seek answers we find answers, yet the answer is but another question for we are still within the domain of our mind -- our conditioned mind. Mind is very cunning, clever. It will use traditions, it will use religions, it will use emotions, it will use memories, it will use philosophies -- just to survive. The Grand Trickster is no fool. It will give you all kinds of questions, and all kinds of answers -- just to survive. But any question raised by the mind is as futile as any answer found by the mind. Mind is an exercise in utter futility. Only very few people in the world have been able to Realize the Truth that the mind is our real problem. Philosophy finds answers, True Awakening is a state which is far beyond questions and answers.

When we can go beyond mind into Silence, into utter and profound Silence -- undisturbed by anything, not even a ripple of thought, then we have Realized What-IS. Not the answer, but something existential, a Transformation, a Transmutation, a Revolution in ourselves which destroys all questions and all answers, and leaves us in utter Serenity, in a tremendous beatitude. Living beyond mind does not mean that you can not use your mind -- in fact, on the contrary, only those who live beyond the mind are capable of using their mind as an instrument. I have made this statement before, that Awakening is in our use of the mind as a tool rather than it controlling and manipulating us. Mind goes on torturing those who have not moved into the state beyond mind -- it is a nightmare. And they can not use the mind because they are not beyond it -- they ARE their mind, so their mind uses them.

Indeed, we must embrace and confront our every fear -- to understand it and thereby discard it. But to befriend and rationalize and even justify our fears is the fear of fear itself. Is it surmised that by befriending fear that fear will befriend us ? Is it thought that by rationalizing fear that fear is of benefit to us ? Is it deduced that by justifying fear that fear will support and free us from it's very grasp ? How fearful is the new born babe ? One of our most readily available Gurus *shows* us that fear is but a concoction of our conditioned mind so that we can be controlled and manipulated. For the new born babe Guru is always on a collision course with what may be termed the unknown, fearing not. When the Slayer is Slain, all that is left is What-IS. It is the Slayer of the Real that we must Slay, for What-IS is all that there is Real.

Yes, the soul is a likely candidate for the *blame* of our fears. We could not blame our conditioned notions, for that could not be accepted by the conditioned mind of thinking and thoughts and memories. "It's not here, no, look over there", we say to ourselves, "it's not this, it's that". When we take a good close Open Honest look into the Mirror of Truth and the Reflection we see is the Grand Trickster the conditioned mind, we have located the source of our fears. So one could deduct from an Observation of the new born babe Guru, yet unencumbered by the Grand Trickster thereby unencumbered by fear, that perhaps when there is no Grand Trickster controlling and manipulating our thinking and behavior that there is also no fears.

The Grand Trickster the conditioned mind IS what must be Openly and Honestly Observed, for therein lies the Causes of our Suffering. The Grand Trickster can only fool the conditioned mind, for in Awakening we See the folly and futility in the movements of our conditionings. And there is no one to blame for our conditioned notions, even the Grand Trickster, yet WE are to blame if we do nothing about it. For there is but one place where the Grand Trickster is not, and that is IN the Moment. When we let go of past memories, and let go of the anticipated future, and Dwell IN the Moment from Moment to Moment AS it IS, projecting not our conditioned notions into/onto that Moment, we Realize that the Grand Trickster no longer controls and manipulates us.

The True Path of Awakening is indeed quite a selfish though selfless one, a solitary one, for it is WE who must Awaken. We are bound by of our conviction of Awakening to Help others do the same, but WE must Walk the Way for no one Saves us but ourselves. We are beguiled at every turn and every situation, and so WE must hold the reins of our Desires and conditioned notions so that WE may Walk The Great Path that has no Gates. When one passes through this Gateless Gate he Walks Freely between Heaven and Earth.

How can one speak of a Realization ? We can say that we Realize this or that, but we can not verbalize the experience of any given Realization. Others can only point to the Path, but we ourselves must Walk the Way. We can describe a rainbow, but we are speechless in describing the awe in the experience of Realizing the wonder of that rainbow. Many have come along and told us precisely what awakening is and to do something and we will also be awakened. And many *believe*. And as many are deluded. In our early Quest we all want to know what to expect when we finally cross the threshold and Wake-Up. But alas, these are but words as well. Dualistic words at that. When we can experience the very instant present Moment without projecting any notions into/onto that experience of that Moment, we ARE Awakening IN that experience OF that Moment. And after experiencing the very instant present Moment without projecting any notions into/onto that experience of that Moment, and ARE Awakening IN that experience OF that Moment and move on to the next Moment not missing an instant from Moment to Moment we will Realize that All IS and All IS-NOT. When there is no distinction between ourselves and what we Observe, when the Observer becomes the Observed, we are Awakening. Even this is not describing Awakening, but merely what we are doing IN Awakening. And even *doing* is misleading because actually we are simply experiencing a Pure unconditioned Moment. It is that which can not be spoken that IS Awakening. Not a secret, but can only be Experienced or Realized instead of being spoken of. The *bottom line* is, however, the more conditioning that we discard the more we Realize and the more we experience What-IS and the more we Awaken.

It is always refreshing to see people leave *the flock*, for such flocks always lead away from Truth and Reality and one's own Awakening. We are controlled and manipulated by such *flocks* to be as *one of the flock*, which means that we are not ourselves but rather the automatons that *the flock* programs. Turkeys and chickens *flock*, Eagles Sore Alone. We will never find True God in some flock or in what some flock would have us *believe*, but rather by Dwelling Within and discarding the various conditioned notions that *the flock* bombards us with continually. Within is where we Realize God, and not in the outward antics of some *flock*. As a child we do childish things, but as we Awaken we Realize that we outGrow the Dreams of the Sleeping flocks.

As long as we are mesmerized by the conditioning of *the flock* we will only see the world through the rose-colored glasses of the flock. It is when we see the hypocrisy of flocks, that we Realize What-IS (Reality). It is a long and arduous Journey Within, but we will never set foot on the Path until we take that first step. It is usually an uncertain step, but one that we must take if we are to Awaken from the delusions of conditioned thinking and behavior. In the flock there are so many Shadows that we try to function within, but alas when we take that first step into the Light of our own Awakening there are no Shadows of dark thinking or behavior. There is only the Freedom to BE who and what we ARE and not a product of some flock.

As long as one takes oneself for a personal entity, as long as there is identification with thoughts and feelings Grace is NOT experienced, from Within or an outside (dualistic) source. Because God nor any-thing else can *give* Grace. Grace is not given, nor is it received. Grace is a State of BEing and can not be Recognize ourselves, but rather is only Recognized by others as our State of BEing. IN our Awakening from the dualistic conditioned thinking and behavior do we Unfold a State of Grace. It is our automatonic programming that we so dearly adhere to that keeps us in a state of Fall from Grace.

One can Realize nothing while still Sleeping, for everything is quite a Dream. And so in this conditioned lucid dream we dream that we have this god who bestows upon us this dream we calls grace.

Our existence depends on many physiological elements, but not God. For alas, YOU are everything, YOU ARE, YOU ARE THAT, YOU are ALL, as only YOU are between non-duality and duality. It is IN the Awakening that we Realize God. It is IN the Awakening that we Unfold Grace. The Awakening form the conditioned notions that there is anything apart form us is the Realization of What-IS in the very instant present Moment. Which leaves no room for Gods and duality of any sort. The Moment leaves room for Directly Experiencing What-IS, and not much else.

A relationship much like the relationship of Reincarnation and Karma. One without the other can be misleading and definitely incomplete. And as interlaced. The short of it is: As we physically *evolve* our *operant* or *potential* of Awakening increases. Evolve (evolute) = exterior and involve (involute) = interior. Physical evolution will advance us to an *increased potential* to Awaken, but that does not mean that we do. To Awaken we must work on Observing and then discarding anything that Veils or Hides that Awakening. For with the refinement of evolution our potential of delusion increases as well. Humanity *is* and has been for some time *Ready* to Awaken but continues to Snooze. His arrogant Dreams of being Awake is but a delusion that we contrive to establish some control over our lives. But alas, it is but a Dream.

Discard this notion of dualism, it draws a line of demarcation that is *thought* to be gone beyond. As long as there is a wall, there will always be two sides of that wall. If there is no wall, how can there be sides ? We are all on the same side, the only side that there IS. Did Siddhartha lock himself in his castle and try to Enlighten those on the other side of the walls of that castle ? Did Jesus sit in the Synagog and try to Save others on the other side of the wall of the Synagog ? We are all on the same side, because the wall of two sides is a construct of the conditioned mind. The Grand Trickster builds wall to keep harm on the other side of the wall, which also imprisons us to *our* particular side of that wall. Awakening is discarding the wall, then we do not have to be concerned about which side we are on because there are no sides to be on.

I can only offer that when thoughts arise at the Moment of any given experience of a Moment, it is a conditioned reaction to the experience of that Moment. If, on the other hand, as we are experiencing the Moment we draw upon information (thoughts) in aiding us IN the experience of the Moment, then we are responding based on our particular state of Awakening. The difference is a reaction based on prior programming or a response based on our Understanding. For we can not do away with thoughts, but rather whether those thought arise as a reaction or whether we think as a response. For you see, Dwelling IN the Moment requires no thoughts to arise -- it is reacting or responding that will establish a requirement of thoughts.

IF we Realize that we are automatons programmed to follow the ebb and flow of our conditioned notions (the contents of our mind, which include memories and emotions), then and only then can we Openly and Honestly stand before the Mirror of Truth. This is not to say that we will remain standing there, because the reflection may be to scary so we may turn away. If we do not recognize the despicable controlled and manipulated puppets that we are, we are resigned to *follow* or remain controlled and manipulated by our conditioned perception. Now, if we get disenchanted with that which we follow (that which controls and manipulates our perception), we simply start following something else. In following a different set of conditioned notions, we are still following conditioned notions. The Key is to get away from conditioned notions, therefore get away from following.

If our "self dialog" is conducted within the auspices of conditionings would not our realizations reflect those conditioned notions ? It is difficult to mix two apples together and come up with an orange. A conditioned arrogance that impedes our Awakening greatly. I would only add that we can prostrate ourselves before a Teaching and/or a Teacher constantly all of our lives and still not even start Awakening IF there remains our conditioned perception of ideas and images and meanings. "As a man thinketh, so is he". May I offer, that when we Realize Truth, though it may be at first a surface level of Understanding, it will still be leading toward that Truth. On the other hand if we realize what we are conditioned to *think* is truth, at any level of understanding, will have no resemblance of Truth. *Is there Life without it being Lived ?* "Scientifically" or "empirically" all manifestation that exists is living. But this is only partially True in that all manifestation is living BECAUSE it *evolves* and *involves* in it's existence. So if no Life, then no existence. Beyond this, yes, Life must be Experienced AS IT IS for What-IT-IS each and every Moment from Moment to Moment. Then we can say that WE are indeed Living Life, as do all other Kingdoms in the manifested realms both seen and unseen.

"Other side" ? There is only INside -- humanity's *final frontier*. For All IS right where you ARE. Discarding the conditioned notion of *other* we can Realize that which IS Within. This applies to the seen as well as the unseen Helpers of humanity.

It is not about finding *distractions*, it is about the intention of Seeking. For as long as we *look* we will never *find*. It is when we stop *looking* and simply experience What-IS IN the Moment that we are experiencing whatever it IS, with no projected notions into/onto that experience, that we Realize Truth and Reality with no labels or images or ideas or meanings. THIS is True Seeking in that we are not Seeking, we are simply experiencing right NOW and Unfolding as a result of it. There is where we must start -- recognize and discard.

Conditionings ? To dear to you ? To attached to them ? You enjoy the pain they give ? You enjoy the Blindness they cause ? Siddhartha did mention that it would be very difficult to get rid of the Causes of our Suffering. I would say that he was on to something, would you ? Apparently you have not recognized these hideous vermin for what they are, otherwise you would have been so scared to see yourself as the controlled and manipulated programmed automaton we are IN the Mirror of Truth that you would have ran from them (or perhaps embraced them more fully for a false sense of security).

The "love" of things is not Love, but rather our attachment to them. When we Love, we simply Love, with no particular *thing* in mind. Another Illusion of the conditioned mind, of the Grand Trickster. The Direct Experience of that which you mention is not Illusion, but rather the Direct Experience of that which is mentioned. The Illusion is that we cling to those memories as though they were still experienced. Each Moment is anew from Moment to Moment, thus each Direct Experience is anew each Moment that those Direct Experiences are Directly Experienced. Memories Bind us to the past and distract our Attention from the Present Moment. The past is not Real for it has come and gone. Yet though we Realize that we Directly Experienced it is the Wonder of True Life. But we forego the opportunity to Directly Experience the Present Moment by Dwelling in memories. They were not Illusions when they were Directly Experienced, but they are Illusions as memories. True Life is to be Truly Lived each and every Moment from Moment to Moment, THAT is Life and Living, all else is but Illusion of memories. The picture is not the Experience, as the memory is not the Experience. The Illusion is that they are one in the same.

Manifested form IS manifested form, and is not an Illusion but rather quite Real. The Illusion is that it is permanent and is of some importance other than Directly Experiencing it, and that *it is all there is*. The Illusion is that we hold on to it and cling to it as some anchor so we will not float away. And anchor us, it does. It anchors our attention to it, and therefore prevents us from Truly enjoying the Wonder of it. We must Directly Experience all of manifested form to it fullest each and every Moment as though it will not be there to Directly Experience in the next Moment. And Openly and Honestly Experience it as though it has no power over us, for it's impermanence is not worthy of our clinging to it. We must jump into the Fire to Live, for to dwell only in memory is merely to survive.

The Sleeping are both optimistic and pessimistic, whereas those Awakening are Altruistic. There is no future as there is no past, for our only Reality is this very Moment NOW. Optimism for the Sleeping is mere wishful thinking, while Awakening we embrace What-IS rather than what we *hope* will be. Sleeping we thrive on chasing after our conditioned perception of enlightenment in the hopes that there is this to attain. Yet that which we chase will always elude us, as Awakening is not a goal but rather a state of BEing...... NOW.

Optimism should not prevent one from seeing dangers and defects, but it will prevent one from Seeing the Moment. For the Moment can not be seen, it can only be embraced and Directly Experienced. But he must Recognize them in himself, for only in the Self-Observation of our own conditioned ideas and images and meanings can we See our own "wrong motives, or distorted intensions" and let them go. THIS is Awakening, and through Compassion and Empathy we can Help and Serve others in their Awakening.

Sleeping we train and program and condition to control and manipulate, and so we accept such training and programming and conditioning ourself. Awakening we can only Compassionately Help and Serve. Sleeping we conduct ourselves as businessmen and *judge* whether the prize is worth the risk. Awakening we do what must be done IN the Moment, Understanding that we have no choice in the matter for it must be done. No risk, no chance, no concern as to outcome though we Understand the outcome, just BEing and DOing What-IS to BE and be DOne in the Moment from Moment to Moment.

"The Art of War", the bible of modern day businessmen. The rationalizations of the Grand Trickster in contriving a "Spirituality of Materiality". Sleeping, everything is outside and around us. Awakening, everything is no-thing for All IS us. We are the barers of our own Cross, we are the Sacrifice to be Crucified in our own Crucifixion, we are the Arisen as we Resurrect from the ashes of our own conditioned notions. By Yogajyotii

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